Breakfast In New York City

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(photo courtesy of Leon Hammack)

This morning I got up from my hotel bed and decided to head on out on the streets of Manhattan to grab some breakfast.  As I got out of my hotel on the corner of 32nd St and Broadway, I yielded to fast movers, then merged in with the foot traffic.

I made my mind up to go get myself a fresh, hot New York bagel.  So I headed up Broadway to the corner of 35th St. and Broadway to one of my favorite places in this part of Manhattan, The Metro Cafe.  As I crowded into the cafe, I was delighted to hear the New Yorkers bantering with each other, as only they can do!

I ordered up a  toasted cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese, YUM!  Once I received my “treasure trove” I headed over to the cashier to pay.  The 20 something Puerto Rican girl working the cash register mumbled something to me that I couldn’t understand.  I asked her to repeat what she said.  Again I couldn’t understand what she was saying.  I said,”Huh?”  Finally I understood that she was saying my bagel was going to cost me $2.68!  I just then realized that I have been gone too long from New York City, and have lost my ability to discern “New Yorkese”!! ( I left New York City on Memorial Day Weekend 1982.)

Walking back to my hotel room after breakfast, I realized that the sidewalks of Manhattan are very similar to a restrictor plate race at either Daytona or Talladega!!  As I exited the cafe, I had to find a hole in the foot traffic and stick my nose into it.  Next I had to determine just which of the lines were moving , verses stagnating.   So I quickly looked to my left and “whipped” out into that lane and tucked into a good “drafting position” on this heavy guy.

Having a very good knowledge of aerodynamics, after all I am an airline pilot, I knew that the 300 lb dude in front of me would bust a big hole in the air!  Once I was established in the lane I started looking for a new and faster drafting partner.  I slipped in behind this rather fast looking female that had a burst of speed as she passed me on the sidewalk.  Again I tucked in really tight for a few steps and with a huge burst of speed, I blew right by her and caught the green pedestrian light at 33rd and Broadway!

Now just one block away from my hotel, I got “up on the wheel”, I “mashed the loud pedal”, I increased my walking speed!!  Just as I got to the corner of 32nd St. and Broadway, I noticed this little old lady making a run on me on the inside, so I pulled a Carl Edwards and moved down to block her.  She didn’t get out of the gas and before I knew it, she had punted me and it was all I could do to keep from collecting up the other pedestrians into a huge sidewalk crash!  WHEW!!

After I got inside my hotel, I surveyed the damage.  All I got was a doughnut on my right side tennis shoe from her high heel!!  So as ol DW ( Darrell Waltrip) says, “it is success if you can drive it into the hauler”!  I made it back to my hotel without a major disaster!

TIL NEXT TIME, I AM STILL WORKING ON MY REDNECK!

6 thoughts on “Breakfast In New York City”

  1. Not that is racin’ Capt….when you can get out early and leg it, to see how it shakes out, without a black flag being thrown, and without a caution flag thrown for someone’s shoe which came off in the middle of the pack, or someone spillin’ their coffee on the walkin’ surface, now that is racin, especially EARLY in Manhattan….(Rev up those tenneys) Pick a pardner and suck it up tight….then when you get to where you are goin’…..DUMP ‘EM !!!!!! Let’s go racin’ boys !!!

  2. Not that is racin’ Capt….when you can get out early and leg it, to see how it shakes out, without a black flag being thrown, and without a caution flag thrown for someone’s shoe which came off in the middle of the pack, or someone spillin’ their coffee on the walkin’ surface, now that is racin, especially EARLY in Manhattan….(Rev up those tenneys) Pick a pardner and suck it up tight….then when you get to where you are goin’…..DUMP ‘EM !!!!!! Let’s go racin’ boys !!!

  3. Hey,

    I know how to walk in NY. Leon taught me. Make no eye contact and don’t scoot over and say excuse me, you will be there until you are hoarse (voice) excusing yourself. I like the drafting, but when they stop and you are not making eye contact, the big CRASH can incur.
    I want to go back East and see more, it is exciting and I love the way they talk (cmon cmom).

    Zeeva

  4. Hey,

    I know how to walk in NY. Leon taught me. Make no eye contact and don’t scoot over and say excuse me, you will be there until you are hoarse (voice) excusing yourself. I like the drafting, but when they stop and you are not making eye contact, the big CRASH can incur.
    I want to go back East and see more, it is exciting and I love the way they talk (cmon cmom).

    Zeeva

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