Is That A Kleenex?

On my trip yesterday from LAX-LIH (Lihue, Kauai) I was forced to try to consume the crew meal that was boarded for me at LAX.  I normally try to avoid the crew meals that are boarded at LAX because the caterer there really puts out a very inferior product!

In light of the economy, my employer is doing everything to try to conserve capital expenditures.  Not withstanding are the huge bonuses that they handed out to the themselves, kinda like AIG and the other Wall Street bankers.  After all, they must take care of themselves, right?

I apologize for the digression, back to the discussion of my crew meal.  As I previewed this luscious culinary delight, I noticed that the package containing my plastic knife, plastic fork, salt package, pepper package, and napkin looked slightly different.  As I gathered up my utensils, I also grabbed up my “napkin” to tuck it into my collar to protect my tie from soilage.  ( I can be a slob when eating my crew meal in my seat, after all, there is no table or tray from which to eat off of!)

It was at this time that I examined the so called napkin.  It felt different to the touch, very thin and fragile, so I held it up to the light so that I could examine it more closely.  On closer scrutiny it appears that the caterer wrapped up my “plastic utensils” with a Kleenex in lieu of a dinner napkin!  That’s right a K-l-e-e-n-e-x!!!!

Have you ever tried to wipe some food off your face with a Kleenex?  The thinness of the Kleenex shredded into a thousand pieces!  I found that I was wiping my face with my bare fingers! EEEWWW!!!

Fortunately I had gathered up a few paper towels from the forward galley prior to departure, just in case I was a slob and spilled stuff while in my seat!  So after the Kleenex had catastrophic shredding failure, I was able to pick up the slack and remove the smudged food and other foreign particles off my face with the paper towels that I had requisitioned prior to takeoff.

Another near disaster averted once again!

So the tale-tail signs of eating were removed from my mug.  Unfortunately the meal was absolutely horrible!  The caterer turns a boneless, skinless piece of chicken quite miraculously into a “tasteless” piece of chicken as well!

So from the Hawaiian island of Kauai……

I AM STILL LIVING THE DREAM, DUDE!

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