1. LAYOFFS AT THE NORTH POLE:
2. LACK OF SPONSORSHIP ON THE SLEIGH:
3. POSSIBLE MERGER OF SANTA AND EASTER BUNNY:
Well it is two days before Christmas and the recession has impacted even Santa!! The elfs are being asked to work over-time at no additional compensation! Additionally, the elfs are asked to void their union contract, forgive their production goals bonus pay, give up seniority, and renegoitate vacation and pay. As much as 25% of the elf force may see pink slips by Christmas Day!! President George W. Bush has flatly rejected any bailout of the North Pole!!! To quote the Prez,”….the North Pole is fundamentally sound”!! Needless to say, there is massive dissention!!
There are rumors running around the North Pole that because of a lack of corporate sponsorship dollars available, Santa is talking to the Easter Bunny about merger possiblities!! They could share production costs and travel expenses on toy deliveries covering both holidays. That would be a substantial savings for both organizations!! However, there is a power struggle between Santa and the Easter Bunny as to who will be the CEO of the merged corporation. Also there is difficulty in naming the new organization. Will it be Santa Bunny, Inc. or The Easter Claus Corp.??? The new Board of Directors are really struggling with this and many more points in the new corporate charter.
This reporter will keep an ear out for the latest on this and many more news worthy items that have a direct affect on all of us!! I am writing this from the crew lounge of the San Francisco airport, but that doesn’t stop me from “getting right on the stories that matter”! Captainblowdri is my name and journalism is my game!!
In closing, this reporter wishes to each one a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! Additionally, let your loved ones know that they are truley loved!!!!
Remember, I always look it up so that you won’t have to!!!!!!!!